SATURDAY entry 1 Avantgarde Bridgitta Jones's Diary - a shock-horror expose of the appalling conditions we Affenpinschers are forced to live under

Diet Dog food 3 oz Units of Stolen food 6oz
Weight 3 lbs over Affenpinscher Standard
Height 2'' below Affenpinscher Standard

Its Hell being a Bitch!

Aromatherapy Relaxation session surrounded by delightful bouquet of well ground in fox droppings utterly ruined by my Human suddenly attempting to drown me in horrible chemical smelling water. It is sad, she needs to see a Behaviourist as she seems to be having these Funny Turns more & more often.